So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
