Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
