I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he was CRYING into my vagina
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
