I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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