in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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