My room smells like vodka and shame
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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