3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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