How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
