Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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