you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
no you cant smoke seaweed
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
