I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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