I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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