I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My vagina is very pro this idea
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
