my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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