therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
