Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
