yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
