my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
