Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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