being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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