'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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