look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
