I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
