East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
