physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
