Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
