can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
babies were throwing up all over the place
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
