lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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