You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
