He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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