Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
