HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
