Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
