He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
