I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
