why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
