i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
