how can u be prego again
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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