thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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