For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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