and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
