You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
