3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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