I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Is Oprah even human
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
