I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
