I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
They have beer where we have blood.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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