i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
