Where did you get a picture of my penis
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
