I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Someone came in the potted fern
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
