just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
